why is everything so broken  ? why this year is like a big SHIT ? why , why and why ? 

miks ta jääb nii et kast on valge ? 

blöblböbö

one shitty day after another , one shitty whore after another . just whyyy this happen with mee , WHYY ??

mul on vist tulnud blogi aeg jälle . mõtlesin et hakkan uuesti kirjutama . teate kui poiss ei taha sinuga koos olla , siis sa ei vääri sellist sitahunnikut. ärge nutke sellepärast kui keegi teiega olla ei taha ,juu te ei vääri teda ja tuleb keegi palju parem , kes paneb sind tundma nagu printsess . ja kindlasti ta üütleb sulle sõnu jaa sa oled mu ainus ja õige jaa jma armastan sind jnejnejne . psss , hui oled ka ju . kui sa oleksid ta ainus ja õige ja ta armastaks sind , siis ta ei laseks sind nii kergelt käest , ta võitleks sinu eest kasvõi maailma lõppu ja tagasi . aga nojah ilmselgelt ei tehta seda . ja siis kui ta leiab endale uue tüdruku , siis ta alles saab aru kui 'hea oli tegelikult sinuga koos olla ,mitte uue tydrukuga , vot aga siis on juba hilja , siis ei taha enam keegi sinust kuulda ei kippu ega kõppu. ja siis ta on üksi , keegi ei aita teda , ja siis ta lõpuks saab aru mida sina tundsid , mida sa tundsid kui tema sind jättis , ja ta saab aru et ta on kõige lollim inimene siin maamunal . siis ta üritab sind tagasi saada aga sina ei taha teda enam kuna sul on juba keegi teine ja parem , ja siis tunneb tema ennast üksikuna , sitahunnikuna , mdea mille kõigena veel kuna ta tegi sulle haiget , aga see ei aita enam .

it will rain

If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.

There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor, oh
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm making
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walking out the door.

Cause there'll be no sunlight
if I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
if I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds, 
my eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday, it will rain,
rain, rain

I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Saying there goes my little girl
walking with that troublesome guy
But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
Oooh well little darling watch me change their minds
Yea for you I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine

Cause there'll be no sunlight
if I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
if I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds, 
my eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday, it will rain, 
rain, rain

Ooooh Don't you say 
goodbye, don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right

Cause there'll be no sunlight
if I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
if I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds, 
my eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday, it will rain, 
rain, rain...

i don't know , what to do anymore . everything is just so fucked up . one bad thing after anohter . i'm so broken and tired of everything . everyone blame me .

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me; let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late nights, just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one else could know you
You’re number one, always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart


I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you 

I knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
And then sit and laugh as you’re holding his hand
The thought of that just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

At times we was off I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you, everything seems strange
Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it, I’m insane,
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby, we can make it work

What about when you
Looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me
As you would hugged me

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind


I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you 


I just wish everything could have turned out differently
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
You would understand, but…
No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby

Our first day, it seemed so magical
I remember all the time that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house?
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off, I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care

Remember the times? Remember when we kissed?
I didn’t think you would ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another guy
I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying


I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you ‘cause
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything
And I really miss you 
 
And I do miss you
I just thought we were meant to be
I guess now, we’ll never know
The only thing I want is for you to be happy
Whether it be with me, or without me
I just want you to be happy

i'am top of the world rigth now , ma ei taha midagi ära sõnuda ega midagi , aga faking hästi läheb ju praegu . mu vana aasta lõppes ja uusaasta algas väga jube huvitavalt :D , aastavahetusel panin autoga matsu :D jne , nüüd tegin endale kõrvaaugud , jeei :D . ja mul on TOM kes on nagu parim mida tahta vist hetkel :)